Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Every now and then today's athletes and other major figures in the sports world need to be called out for their insane behavior, ridiculous press conferences, peculiar tweets, and just general outlandish behavior. Maybe a little more than "every now and then," since this crazy shit happens all the time. Sure, Deadspin calls them out on it, but is that really enough? As fans and constant critics of our favorite sports personalities, we share in the responsibility of calling out their bullshit.
Where to even begin... How about with the breaking news? Miami Marlins' President Larry Beinfast released a statement this afternoon firing Fidel Castro's biggest (and only) fan in Miami, Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen. "After careful consideration following the disappointment of the 2012 season, we decided to dismiss Ozzie," Beinfast said. Now, the MLB's resident lunatic skipper was brought in to lead the relocated and completely renovated Marlins to victory. Unfortunately for Miami, they ended up with a pathetic 69-93 record. Even more unfortunately is that if Guillen doesn't find a new managerial job before the 2013 season, the Marlins will be eating the $7.5 million owed to him over the remaining three years of his contract. Sucks to suck, huh?

Onto the NFL. The WTF moment of week 7 comes in response to the Ndamukong Suh powerbomb to perennial annoyed and wimpy Bears QB Jay Cutler. I say powerbomb, because, well, look at that move! Someone call Dana White, this man needs a UFC contract immediately! Makes me question why he wasn't doing that during last year's lockout in the first place... Anyway, week seven's Monday Night Football competition between the Lions and the Bears was halted as Cutler laid on the ground expressionless (as always,) left the game briefly for xrays, and then returned to play. Following the game, always outspoken teammate, Brandon Marshall, took to his twitter and called out Suh saying, "A Suh. Something I've learned and now passing down to you. Succeed with character." While Marshall was not happy with how his precious quarterback was taken down, Cutler didn't quite see it that way. "It was a tough hit and he caught me just right. It was an awkward fall more than anything. I still think it was clean and he is a good player," Cutler said in an interview with the Chicago Tribune, "I knew it was my ribs and it wasn't my shoulder or head or anything like that. His knee and the ball got caught in my ribs. I knew on my way down it wasn't going to be good." But Cutler returned to play, unlike in the 2011 NFC Championship Game when he cried all the way home. So, again, enough out of you, Brandon Marshall.
Jumping over to the NBA, the Washington Wizards and their season ticket holders spent the night at Six Flags America yesterday. As Deadspin reported, fans were able to take pictures, get autographs, and of course ride the coasters with their favorite stars. Unfortunately, Emeka Okafor didn't quite measure up correctly for the Superman: Ride of Steel. The 6'10'' center was just too tall to securely ride the coaster. Just as he was strapped in and ready for take off, he was instead forced off the ride. Let's hope someone won him a really big teddy bear or something to make it all better.
While we're on the topic of completely obscene NBA stories, let's skip on over to La La Land, where some interesting news has become public surrounding the Lakers' newest superstar. In the business of the daily DUI arrests, Laker fans and personnel won't have to worry about Dwight Howard falling into that trap. According to ESPNLA.com Lakers beat writer, Dave McMenamin, "Dwight has never been drunk in his life. In fact, he's only had one alcoholic drink in his 26 years: a celebratory shot of CÎROC (P Diddy's top-shelf vodka) with his friends when the Lakers trade became official this summer." Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight, Dwight "Superman" Howard, never drank liquor in his 26 years before signing with the Lake Show? This can't be right. I searched tirelessly and no embarrassing photos or videos exist, unfortunately. I really wanted to prove that one wrong. One point for you, Dwight.
Perhaps the funniest moment of the week goes to Jet-killer and all sack machine, Houston's J.J. Watt. The 6'6'' 295 pound defensive end leads the league with 9 1/2 sacks and 10 blocked passes and on Sunday he took out his frustrations on poor Ravens running back, Ray Rice. Watt, who was mic'd up by ESPN for the game, used one of the greatest shit talking lines I think cameras have ever captured when he told Rice, who's only 5'8'', that he's "eaten burritos bigger than you." Game, set, match.

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